Your cart

Your cart is empty

Discover yourself.

Tips on sexting in a relationship

Tips on sexting in a relationship

Sexting—combining sex and texting—can be an exciting way to spice things up in a relationship. If you’re new to the concept, welcome! At its core, sexting involves using your mobile phone, an app, or email to send and receive sexual messages. While it may feel daunting for some, it can be a fantastic way to keep the spark alive, whether you’re in a new romance or a long-term relationship. Research even suggests that it can boost sexual satisfaction. Before you dive in, here are some essential tips to keep in mind.

The importance of consent, always

Sharing sexual pictures or messages without permission is a serious violation of privacy. Whilst sexting might seem fun to you, it’s a personal preference and not for everybody so never assume that someone wants a sext from you no matter your sexual history. It requires mutual trust, respect and consent to ensure that everybody feels comfortable and safe, without feeling any pressure whatsoever.

If you’re unsure how to get an idea of your partner’s interest and boundaries, start by initiating a question or statement like:

“I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you later and I’d like to share that with you over text if you’d enjoy that”.

And if you’re on the receiving end, make sure to speak up and have an explicit conversation either over text or in real life.

Set the mood

Even if you’re not with your partner physically, setting the mood for yourself can help you get into it and feel more sensual. Wear something that makes you feel confident and sexy, put on some music, play to your senses by dimming the lights, using scented candles or oils, or you can even keep your favourite pleasure product(s) nearby. Describing your scene to your partner will also turn them on so they can really imagine where you are and what you’re doing.

Use descriptive language

In order to stimulate the imagination, be as descriptive as possible. Either making up an imaginary scene, or recounting back the details of a previous sexual experience together, it’s all about the details and getting creative.

You can start by asking a question or a confession about your fantasies like;

“what’s your biggest fantasy?” or “I’m wearing your favourite piece of clothing...what would you want to do to me right now?” or “you know I’ve always wanted to...”.

The words you use will paint a visual of the fantasy you’re describing or experiencing so use expressive words like,

“I’m imagining myself stroking/caressing/licking/sucking/teasing/touching your…” or “I’m so wet/hard thinking about that”.

Give a specific compliment

Your partner will love to hear what they do to you that makes you feel good. Think back to really hot sex together and remind them about what they did that turned you on to relive that moment; “only you can make me feel this good”. And don’t shy away from incorporating new fantasies as well...just because you bring it up while sexting doesn’t mean it has to happen in real life. Play into your curiosities, your wildest sexual dreams and see how it makes you and your partner feel. You can always steer the conversation back if it’s getting a little too risqué for you.

It doesn’t have to just be texts

If you feel comfortable, sending nudes or voice messages can be a great way to turn on your partner. Whether you’ve got sexy photos locked and loaded in your library already or are taking them in the moment, visual imagery can be the best way to tease and take control. Just remember that once it’s sent, you can’t take it back so make sure you’ve thought about it properly beforehand.

If you are wanting to send voice messages but feel too awkward, keep them short and sweet or send a sound that they’re making you feel in the heat of the moment. Moaning and groaning can drive your partner wild.

Have fun with it

Lastly, this is your experience so have fun with it. Either take it slow in the beginning and build up as you become more comfortable or dive straight in and have a go. As long as it's consensual and everyone feels safe and respected, there’s no right or wrong.

Previous post
Next post

Journey into pleasure

Vibes in 3 colours

Essensual Vibe

$149.95
Unit price
per 
Flow Water-Based

Flow Water-Based

from $29.95

Unit price
per 
LBDO Melt

LBDO Melt

from $34.95

Unit price
per 
LBDO Mood

LBDO Mood

$49.95
Unit price
per 

More sex education

The psychology of eye contact during sex

The psychology of eye contact during sex

Eye contact is often treated as a sign of closeness. We hold it when we want someone to feel seen. We look away when we feel shy or unsure. But...

Read more
The role of scent in sexual memory

The role of scent in sexual memory

Some smells stay with us. A particular cologne. The scent of skin. Sweat on sheets. You might catch it again months or years later, and without meaning to, you’re right...

Read more
A guide to pleasuring yourself, together

A guide to pleasuring yourself, together

For many people, the idea of mutual masturbation might feel unfamiliar or even a little awkward. It’s not often talked about openly, yet it can be one of the most...

Read more
A beginner’s guide to roleplay

A beginner’s guide to roleplay

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to step into a different version of yourself - or see your partner in a whole new light? That’s the heart...

Read more
Why aftercare should be part of all good sex

Why aftercare should be part of all good sex

You’ve just had sex, but instead of feeling close, you feel a little distant. Emotional. Maybe even a little alone - even though your partner is lying right beside you....

Read more
Life after The Kiss of Death: surviving a bilateral mastectomy in my 30s

Life after The Kiss of Death: surviving a bilateral mastectomy in my 30s

Cancer is often seen as a monolithic experience - a singular battle with a clear beginning, middle, and end. But for those who live through it, the reality is much...

Read more