Sign up for 10% off your first purchase.

Your cart

Your cart is empty

Discover yourself.

Tips on Sexting in a Relationship

Tips on Sexting in a Relationship

Sexting (sex + texting); if you’re new to the world of sexting, welcome! Sexting in its basic form involves using technology such as a mobile phone, app or email to send and receive sexual messages.

While this may seem daunting for some, and it’s certainly not for everyone, it can be a great way to keep things fresh in a new or existing relationship. And studies have shown that it can be an essential part to a healthy relationship, including the possibility of increasing sexual satisfaction. Before you dive right into sexting, here’s what you need to know…

The importance of consent, always

Sharing sexual pictures or messages without permission is a serious violation of privacy. Whilst sexting might seem fun to you, it’s a personal preference and not for everybody so never assume that someone wants a sext from you no matter your sexual history. It requires mutual trust, respect and consent to ensure that everybody feels comfortable and safe, without feeling any pressure whatsoever.

If you’re unsure how to get an idea of your partner’s interest and boundaries, start by initiating a question or statement like:

“I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you later and I’d like to share that with you over text if you’d enjoy that”.

And if you’re on the receiving end, make sure to speak up and have an explicit conversation either over text or in real life.

Set the mood

Even if you’re not with your partner physically, setting the mood for yourself can help you get into it and feel more sensual. Wear something that makes you feel confident and sexy, put on some music, play to your senses by dimming the lights, using scented candles or oils, or you can even keep your favourite pleasure product(s) nearby. Describing your scene to your partner will also turn them on so they can really imagine where you are and what you’re doing.

Use descriptive language

In order to stimulate the imagination, be as descriptive as possible. Either making up an imaginary scene, or recounting back the details of a previous sexual experience together, it’s all about the details and getting creative.

You can start by asking a question or a confession about your fantasies like;

“what’s your biggest fantasy?” or “I’m wearing your favourite piece of clothing...what would you want to do to me right now?” or “you know I’ve always wanted to...”.

The words you use will paint a visual of the fantasy you’re describing or experiencing so use expressive words like,

“I’m imagining myself stroking/caressing/licking/sucking/teasing/touching your…” or “I’m so wet/hard thinking about that”.

Give a specific compliment

Your partner will love to hear what they do to you that makes you feel good. Think back to really hot sex together and remind them about what they did that turned you on to relive that moment; “only you can make me feel this good”. And don’t shy away from incorporating new fantasies as well...just because you bring it up while sexting doesn’t mean it has to happen in real life. Play into your curiosities, your wildest sexual dreams and see how it makes you and your partner feel. You can always steer the conversation back if it’s getting a little too risqué for you.

It doesn’t have to just be texts

If you feel comfortable, sending nudes or voice messages can be a great way to turn on your partner. Whether you’ve got sexy photos locked and loaded in your library already or are taking them in the moment, visual imagery can be the best way to tease and take control. Just remember that once it’s sent, you can’t take it back so make sure you’ve thought about it properly beforehand.

If you are wanting to send voice messages but feel too awkward, keep them short and sweet or send a sound that they’re making you feel in the heat of the moment. Moaning and groaning will drive your partner wild.

Have fun with it

Lastly, this is your experience so have fun with it. Either take it slow in the beginning and build up as you become more comfortable or dive straight in and have a go. As long as it's consensual and everyone feels safe and respected, there’s no right or wrong.

Previous post
Next post

Journey into pleasure

Vibes in 3 colours

Essensual Vibe

$149.95
Unit price
per 
Lube

Essensual Lube

$29.95
Unit price
per 
Essensual Melt

Essensual Melt

from $34.95

Unit price
per 
Oil

Essensual Oil

$49.95
Unit price
per 

More sex education

The colour psychology of attraction

The colour psychology of attraction

One often overlooked facet of intimacy and attraction may be its deep connection with colour. The association between colour and human attraction has garnered significant attention, even being backed by...

Read more
Soundscapes

Sexual soundscapes: using moaning, whimpering and breathing in the bedroom

Sex - unlike watching a movie in the cinema or studying at the library - isn't generally enhanced by ‘keeping it down’. In fact, a lot of people respond very...

Read more
Break-up aftercare

Break-up aftercare

A lot of us would rather swim with sharks than go through a bad break up, and for good reason. Categorically, break-ups suck. For both the dumper and dumpee, it's...

Read more
Naughty nurse, deviant doctor, sensual surgeon: unpacking the doctor-nurse fantasy

Naughty nurse, deviant doctor, sensual surgeon: unpacking the doctor-nurse fantasy

From the sexy nurse outfit that inevitably makes an appearance every Halloween, to the magnetic appeal of (for some) McDreamy in Grey's Anatomy, medical professionals have effortlessly shifted from the...

Read more
How to strike up a conversation on a dating app

How to strike up a conversation on a dating app

Once upon a time, online dating carried a stigma, reserved for the desperate and lonely, with only a handful of websites to choose from. Now, there are over 366 million...

Read more
Having the horn: historical origins of horny

Having the horn: historical origins of horny

In 1998, Hot ’n’ Juicy proclaimed, via song, that they were horny. Horny, horny, horny, in fact. Austin Powers, too, has many a time, posed the question, ‘Do I make...

Read more