Welcome to Pillow Talk, a series of chats with some of our favourite creatives, activists, artists and designers.
Queer poet, essayist and playwright, Tamara Natt (she/they) has accomplished so much already. Tamara has been published by poetry journals, magazines and publications around the world, and is about to go on tour with her debut play, ALPHA.
Before she heads off, she was kind enough to sit down with us for our latest instalment of Pillow Talk, where she shared with us everything from her experiences with sexual wellness to what’s on her nightstand.
Here's a snippet of our chat.
What's on your nightstand?
*walking into the bedroom to have a genuine look*
- LBDO Essensual Vibe
- Four different kinds of lip gloss
- LBDO Essensual Oil
- Magnesium tablets
- Soy sauce lamp
What's the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
Ideal date idea?
Horchata at a street market? Yes.
Follow that dirt road up a mountain, which ends up being a backway to the observatory? Yep.
Take an Uber halfway across town on the highway with all the windows down, have it stop at the Korean spa up ahead, buy a joint from a guy in a burger truck and walk into what will end up being the best Mexican of your life?
How do you take care of your sexual wellness?My favourite thing that I’ve learned about sex is how to take possession of my own desire.
For a long time in my 20s, I prioritised being a “good” partner in sex, which meant my sexuality was formed around gratifying the people I was sleeping. Regardless of how willing my lovers were to make space for my pleasure, I felt like taking time for my own desire was somehow selfish or boring. Porn culture has a lot to answer for there.
Now that I’m in a healthy sexual relationship with myself and my wife, I love communicating my desires. It’s added a verbal dimension to that’s actually really sexy. Lastly, I masturbate regularly to keep that connection with myself current and alive. Having a partner who doesn’t see masturbation as competition is a total joy.
What’s something you wish you knew about sex when you were younger?
So my wish would be for society to be more comfortable acknowledging that sexuality develops a lot earlier than we’re told, and that, especially for women and non-binary bodies, it’s okay to feel good. It’s actually brilliant.