As we know, sex happens between two supermodels on a backdrop of intense yearning, lust and perfect lighting. Sex is when two parties orgasm in perfect unison after exactly three minutes of beautiful passion. At least - that’s what Hollywood would have us believe. Real sex rarely looks like the above - so if you’ve had an awkward encounter in bed, don’t think you’re the only one. So what do we do about awkward sex? Let’s start by getting real about it.
Sex is awkward.
There you go, in black and white. It’s okay to acknowledge those three little words. Especially when you’re with a new partner, consider how vulnerable this activity is; you’re stark naked, for one. You may not know each other that well, let alone the intimate intricacies of how they experience pleasure. Be okay with that, accept it, expect the uncomfortable, and enjoy the journey of ‘learning by doing.’
Talk about sex, baby.
If and when the cringe creeps in, don’t let it be an unwelcome elephant in the bedroom. Just name it. Be honest, and have an open chat. Share what’s working, what’s not working, and express what you are nervous about. It may feel awkward, but often it’s creating a strong, healthy sexual foundation whereby you and your partner feel safer around each other.
Reassurance is sexy.
Your sexual partner might feel uncomfortable bringing up their insecurities in bed, so how you respond to them is important for more than just the atmosphere in the room. Let them know they are in charge, and that you don’t want them doing anything they don’t feel comfortable doing. Reinforce their moves when appropriate too - a little ‘that feels good’ or ‘just like that’ can go a long way - and quickly salvage any earlier hits to their self-confidence.
Keep it Light n’ Tangy.
Remember that at the end of the day, you’re rubbing your bits together, not sharing tips about the stock market. Funny noises happen, heads bump, people fall off beds. It’s all part of the fun, and it’s okay to have a giggle break if it feels right. Laughter can be a good tool in easing tension, even bringing you closer. You’re both just human beings looking to have a nice time together.
Don’t focus on the finish line
Ironically enough, focusing too hard on either ‘achieving’ orgasm yourself or making your partner climax can be one of its biggest preventers. Try to enjoy every moment of the sex you’re having, with no expectations. Kiss, touch, cuddle, and breathe each other in with no particular end goal. If it happens, it happens.