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How to strike up a conversation on a dating app

How to strike up a conversation on a dating app

Once upon a time, online dating carried a stigma, reserved for the desperate and lonely, with only a handful of websites to choose from. Now, there are over 366 million people venturing into online dating, and thousands of dating platforms that cater to a myriad of diverse relationships, desires, and preferences. 

While this flourishing online dating landscape can be exciting, navigating through the dos, don'ts, red flags, green flags, and icks can be overwhelming. And knowing what to say if you do find a match? It's an uphill battle. Nobody is immune, sometimes first liners just don’t hit. In full transparency, not even we have any absolutely foolproof methods. But we do have a few pretty solid tips to help you on your way. 

Breaking the ice 

Everyone is different, and some might be okay with a simple 'hey, how are you?', but it’s never going to knock them off their feet. It's highly probable that your potential match has heard any tired greeting several billion times before. Try to remember the three Fs – fresh, funny, flirty. It's a dating app, not a job interview. Keeping it fresh means steering clear of mundane small talk. Ask about their job or how their day went if you must, but find an interesting angle. Being funny doesn't mean five minutes of your best stand-up. Subtle humour, anecdotes, and a touch of self-deprecation can work wonders. And when it comes to flirting, strike a balance – avoid diving into anything too intense or overly sexual unless the app or profile signals otherwise. Flirting can range from playful banter to sincere compliments. It shows interest and sets the stage for a fun and engaging conversation. 

Connecting through interests

Pinpointing what resonates with you or piques your curiosity on someone's profile helps launch the conversation. If you're a fitness enthusiast and spot their gym selfies, kickstart the chat with that common ground.  If you're an animal lover and spot a cute cat or dog in their pictures, ask about their own four-legged friend or share something about yours. The key is to make it personal, demonstrating that you've taken a good look at their profile and genuinely connect with what you see.

Be yourself…within reason 

While it may sound cliché, authenticity is key in online dating. Steer clear of so-called ‘tricks’ or ‘hacks’ like negging or playing hard to get – these can lead you down the wrong path. Be yourself, but do this within reason; you don’t need to expose the depths of your insecurities, neuroses, or fears. Keep it short in the initial stages; sending a monologue as your first message may overwhelm the other person. But there is no need to create an artificial sense of mystery or intrigue if it doesn't align with your natural instinct. Being nothing more or less than yourself will likely prove refreshing in a world filled with cringe and bravado.

Dating apps are dynamic, and the key, if any, is to be adaptable, genuine, and open to the diverse experiences they offer. There's no definitive rulebook to secure a date or hook up, but keeping these tips in mind are sure to increase your chances. A totally foolproof method would take the fun out of it anyway.

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