Pleasure & Intimacy

11 tips to get you in the mood when you’re feeling too tired for sex and intimacy

Mar 9, 2021

Do you ever feel too lazy, full, or tired to engage in intimacy? Maybe you’ve just enjoyed a delicious meal, and as you settle into bed, the last thing you want to do is jump into action when your belly is comfortably full. Let’s be real—sometimes all you want is to pick up that book you’ve been excited to read or even indulge in some doom scrolling. It’s completely normal to experience these moments, and the good news is, there are plenty of ways to connect without the pressure to perform.

We’ve got 11 tips to get you in the mood when you’re feeling too tired to dive into intimacy:

Try dirty talk. Arousal starts in the mind, so whispering fantasies into your partner's ear or asking them to talk dirty to you is a sure-fire way to build arousal and get you feeling turned on.
Don’t overcomplicate sex positions. Simple positions are just as intimate but require less effort.
Use pleasure products. These can give you a head start and help you channel some energy when you’re feeling low. Whether you use them solo or with a partner, try our Essensual Vibe for an added boost during partnered fun.
Watch ethical porn. Sometimes, just watching other people get it on can ignite that steamy fire inside you, even when you’re too tired to get up and move.
Watch your favourite cinematic sex scene. You know the one that makes your heart race and your palms sweaty? Cue it up on the screen again for a little inspiration.
Put on some sweet sultry tunes. Creating a sensual atmosphere can really set the mood. Follow our Spotify playlists to start listening.
Use aphrodisiac scents. Apply them to your wrist or diffuse them in the air. Scents like ginger, cinnamon, ginseng, sandalwood, bergamot, and lavender can all help trigger arousal and enhance the experience.
Put on something that makes you feel sexy. Slip into silk or lace lingerie that reminds you of your confidence. Feeling good in what you wear can work wonders.
Have a hot shower. Take a moment to relax and shift your focus from your mind to your body. You may enjoy rubbing our Essensual Oil massage and body oil onto your bare skin afterward.
Use your mind. Your brain is your largest sexual organ, so think back to the last time you had a satisfying experience. Remind yourself that you’re investing in your intimate relationship.
Schedule it in advance. While it might not seem as spontaneous, knowing there’s a dedicated time during the week for intimacy can help you mentally prepare. It’s all about making it work for you.