The holidays are all about giving. We give our time, we give presents, we give kind words and baked goods.
While we’re at it, why not give something back to ourselves?
This year we’ve put together a ten-day holiday guide dedicated to expanding your pleasure, enhancing your sexuality, and improving your self-confidence. Masturbation on each of these days is, of course, optional - but we find it pairs quite nicely.
Day 1 – Pamper yourself.
Get in the shower and wash your hair, shave if you want, do a scrub. When you get out, moisturise your whole body and do a face mask. Paint your nails, wrap yourself in seaweed, ped-egg your feet - whatever makes you feel good. Block out some time to nurture your body, prioritise self-care, and do those self maintenance jobs you’ve been putting off. Afterwards, you’ll feel more relaxed, confident, hot, and ready for the silly season to come.
Day 2 – Flirt with yourself.
Start day 2 with a morning pep talk. Literally whisper sweet nothings to yourself in the mirror. “Wow, you look hot today”, or “You are sexy”. It sounds silly, and it might make you laugh, but that’s what flirting is! Flirting is light-hearted and joyful, but it makes you feel good. For the rest of the day, every time you see a reflective surface, give yourself a little wink.
Day 3 – Take a photo of yourself.
Today, set a scene and take the time to get a shot that makes you feel amazing. Light candles (lighting is key), put on the outfit or lingerie that makes you feel the hottest, and strike a pose. You can send it to someone if you like, but you don’t have to. This day is about setting aside time to venerate your own body, as well as getting some photographic evidence that you are *that bitch*.
Day 4 – Buy yourself a sexy gift.
Day 5 – Visit an erotic art exhibition.
Do some research to see if there are any exhibitions in your city this weekend that celebrate sexuality. If not, walk around the permanent collection at your state gallery and pay attention to the erotic art within it. What does it inspire in you? What does it stir in you? Journal about your experience or create your own erotic art in response. This day is about reflecting on the place sexuality has in society and in your own life.
Day 6 – Listen to audio porn.
Pop your headphones on, lay back, and enter an erotic dream world. Listening to audio porn is a great way to stimulate your imagination, reconnect with your fantasies, and elevate your self-love time.
Day 7 – Yoga or massage.
Today, go to a candlelit Yin Yoga class, or book a massage. Yin is a slower and more meditative style of yoga, where the asanas (poses) are held for longer. Doing a Yin class is dedicating time to connect to your body. If you’re short on time, try an online class, or Youtube tutorial.
Massages cross into many realms of self-love: they’re about embodiment, they help you to relax, they allow you to explore your sense of touch, and they’re a little treat.
Day 8 – Book into a workshop.
Ever wanted to learn how to do tantric massage? Or wanted to go to pleasure school? This is your cue to follow your curiosity and find a course in your city or online with one of the many sexperts now offering them. Not feeling sexy? Look into pottery classes, or walking clubs in your area. Pleasure comes in infinite forms, follow yours.
Day 9 – Collate some resources to continue this journey.
Continue to expand your sexuality and show yourself love by heading to the bookshop or library and gathering some further reading. We recommend Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Moan: Anonymous Essays on Female Orgasm, and Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller. Also, follow some sexologists and sex-positive content creators to get a daily dose of sex-ed.
Day 10 – Set some pleasure goals for the New Year.
On the final day, reflect on what you’ve learnt over the past 10 days, and note what you want to keep learning. Do you want to change your relationship with your body? Do you want to improve your sexual communication? Do you want to start going to sex parties? Do you want to date more, or date less? Maybe pleasure for you is simply spending more time in nature. Whatever it may be, reflect on what brings you joy, and make a plan to achieve more of it in the new year.